Why Do I Live Like This?

So the motherfucker did it to me again. Started to rattle off that “God doesn’t make mistakes,” that “He (God) intended you to live with the equipment he gave you.” He also told me “I don’t really follow the Bible,” and that I only go to Grace to “get my ears tickled.”

Fuck all that nonsense.

So what do I plan to do?

Right now, I’m in the hole financially. Big time.. the car payment took everything in my account and left me with nothing until my long-term disability check comes. And even when THAT comes, most of it is already spent. So after I get back to work, I plan on setting $25-50 aside each week.

I know that most employers won’t even look at me even if I have a Master’s in Social Work with a bitchin’ license. I need experience. So right now, I’m looking at a few jobs in my field, including jobs with the State of Michigan. All I need is my transcripts for those.  Another cool job I applied for is a telephone counselor, handling incoming calls and transferring to a clinical specialist if need be. I have more jobs I can apply for, but I know I need to get a better job, preferably in my field.

As for my relationship with Christ, how the FUCK would he know? He doesn’t know my heart, he doesn’t know how I live when he’s not here, etc. By the way, it’s high time he started following his favorite book’s advice. And having observed HIM… sounds like he bounces around from church to church to get his ears scratched too. Pot, please meet kettle.

If I get the jobs in my field, it’ll be easier to save up to get rid of him, that’s for sure. If I can get a house, like three or four bedrooms, I can find roommates and live like it’s a party. For example, I thought of inviting Max and his partner, Shelby, and Kyla to live with me. Rachel too. With that collection of talent, shouldn’t be hard to make a mortgage payment.

As for the books I’m working on: get those done too, and try to get a massive publishing contract.  $200K would BUY the house and get me away from him. And would allow me to have plenty of parties without him.

But that’s for the future. I need to get jobs in my field, get the money, and dump him now.


By adventureswithambermarie

Just a 38 year old trans girl roaming around Holland, MI. My old life wasn't as glamorous as my webpage made it look. Transphobic comments will automatically be deleted and you will be blocked.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s