To say I’ve been going through this recovery time without doing anything is simply not true. I’ve been writing, both here and on my book. I’ve been getting ready to go back to school. I’ve been trying to find a better job. So on.
Primary goal now is to become “Amber Marie, Licensed MSW.” I don’t want to say it’s all consuming, but it’s where my primary focus is. Right now, I’m stuck in a dead end job, it’s a job I can’t stand, and the only thing keeping me there are two wonderful women named Jael and Rosy. Jael has been checking in and giving me hugs while I recover from this surgery.
I am also working on my book, “Hey Amber Marie, it’s Amber Marie (Letters to Myself and Other Things).” Right now, I’m only a few pages in, but by the time I’m done, it’ll be about 200 MS Word pages of memories, letters to myself, and recipes. Yes, recipes. How else does a 15 time marathon runner refuel herself? Have to admit, I’m working on my memories of various churches growing up, and the bit about New Life Christian Church in Muskegon is flat out raw and ugly. I had a good time there for awhile, but there were some not nice things that happened there, and when I came out, 95% of those people started treating me like I was dead.
With my book too, I have to chronicle my relationship with my mom, my stepfather, my biological father, running/endurance, my weight, my family in general… I’ll be busy for awhile.
While I’m working on my degree, I’m also working on breaking into the behavioral health field. I’m pursuing my MSW, right? And my MSW is with a mental health/trauma focus, right? So I’m looking forward to getting a job along those lines.
I already mentioned in the last update that I’m trying to get away from my dad. I can’t stand the “he/him” nonsense any more, and if he calls me “b-tch without a c-nt” one more time, I’m running him with my knee scooter.
Right now, above all else, I’m trying to heal. I’d like to walk again. I’d like to run again. I want to do yoga and Pilates again. And do Orange Theory or Pure Barre. Something.