Holding On

Earlier this week, I had some issues with getting my medicine. Insurance problems are not fun to deal with at all! However, I held on… how did I do that?

Yes, Tuesday night, I cried pretty hard. Wednesday I was sent home from work. But Thursday, there was an attitude shift…

I woke up in the morning and realized that in the words of Ingrid Michaelson, “I got two hands, one beating heart, and I’ll be alright.” That attitude carried me through the day on Thursday. People like Jael, Mama Rosie, and Pastor Beth definitely helped.

Friday, I woke up and listened to Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s “Quiet As A Mouse.” There’s a lyric in there that says “Wake up, you’ve got a lot of things to do… wake up, the sun is rising without you.” So no matter what, I realized I had things to do and the sun would rise without me anyway. Once again, Jael, Mama Rosie, and my friends Julie and Carissa were there. I went back to Walgreens and realized that none of my medicine was on the formulary for Blue Cross Blue Shield at Walgreens, and was empowered to try CVS. The pharmacist runs a formulary check there, and yes, my medicine was covered at CVS. I leave feeling relieved. My friends tell me later that I don’t need to call my doctor to get my medicine transferred.

In the meantime, I’m working out, eating well, and trying not to listen to sad music. Why make it worse? Saturday, I go to CVS and ask for everything to be moved over. Lisa does that, and by about 4 PM, I have my antidepressant and my bipolar medicine again. I told her that she was my hero for the day.

But you know… even when the world went dark for a bit, I didn’t let the situation spiral out of control. I stayed with my meal plan. I tried to work out, and once I got my back and hips loosened up, I was able to run and do yoga and Pilates. I focused on my coursework and got a few things done, even though it feels like I still have 12,996 assignments to go.

This shows me that I have the tools and the resources to make it, even without my antidepressants and bipolar medicine. Monday, I’ll have a full quantity of everything, and I’ll be fine. Even last night, I managed to sleep so well.

So, once again… “I got two hands, one beating heart, and I’ll be alright…”

By adventureswithambermarie

Just a 38 year old trans girl roaming around Holland, MI. My old life wasn't as glamorous as my webpage made it look. Transphobic comments will automatically be deleted and you will be blocked.

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